The Flip Side--Installment VI: What are Five Things You Could Improve On in Your Dating Lifestyle?

by Julie Robinson

  Today’s post marks #100 on Dating Sure Is a Whole Lot of What? Not!  I have been dating AND attempting to date AND falling in love AND ditching the losers AND writing all about it one hundred times. 

In each post I write I literally take something from my own life to illustrate what to do and what not to do when dating men.  Let’s face it, most of the time it’s what not to do.  Below is the last installment of the Flip Side and illustrates the top five things I could improve on in my dating lifestyle:

The Flip Side--Installment V: What is the Appeal of “Bad Boys” for Some Women?

by Julie Robinson

  Bad boys are the topic for the fifth installment to The Flip Side--a series of short interview questions and answers about dating, relationships, and sex.  What do you love about the guy who encourages you to be BAD?

 I am sure that it will come as no surprise to you that the double standard is alive and well in the dating world.  Women are still expected to police both sexes’ behavior when on a date.  It is our responsibility to keep everyone in check. 

Then a bad boy ambles in.

His swagger, his demeanor, his smell takes over the room.  He doesn’t want anything to do with Little Miss Goodie Two Shoes over there in the corner.  No.  He wants to break all of the rules and he wants to break them with you.  That’s the appeal:  Bad boys encourage women to be bad, too.

The Flip Side--Installment IV: Are One Night Stands Over?

by Julie Robinson
  The fourth installment to The Flip Side--a series of short interview questions and answers about dating, relationships, and sex--is one close to my heart and a favorite topic to write about . . . .  the one night stand.

  The short answer to this question is: Not for me.  The long answer to this question is a bit more complicated.  I am one of those women who occasionally find hidden value in a one night stand.  Don’t get me wrong—most of the time I prefer a regular lover, but I have been known to seek out and enjoy a one night stand from time to time. I am not alone.

One night stands provide a certain thrill that only comes from spying a man across the room, getting his undivided attention, and taking him home.  Many women find pleasure in this sort of pursuit and include it in their sexual arsenal.  While it’s also true that many of these would-be one night stands turn into booty call relationships, the no-strings-attached mentality built into the arrangement has its own appeal. 

The Flip Side--Installment III: Have you Ever Blown a Guy Off Just Because He Was Too Nice?

by Julie Robinson

  Here is the third installment to The Flip Side--a series of short interview questions and answers about dating, relationships, and sex.  I think it's safe to say that I am going to rot in hell . . . . 

  The last man I dated seriously was described by all of my friends as “really nice.” He was the kind of guy who did everything humanly possible out of the goodness of his heart.  He was kind, generous, and super sweet.  Why did we break up if he was so great?  He told me I wasn’t nice enough for him.

The problem with nice guys is they believe that particular aspect of their personality is a positive trait—and in many situations they would be right.  The rub comes when they choose being nice over anything else.  For instance, when “nice” means being agreeable when you should just speak your mind, choosing to avoid conflict at all costs, and going along with all sorts of manly mischief—being nice is not doing anyone any favors.  The thing I had the most difficulty with when dating this very nice man was that he believed it was more important to be pleasant than it was to be real. 

The Flip Side--Installment II: What Scares You About Dating?

by Julie Robinson

  Here is the second installment to The Flip Side--a series of interview questions and answers about dating, relationships, and sex.  As you will see, my responses are short, not-all-that-sweet, and pretty damn telling. . . .

  I met a woman last week who met a man for the first time after chatting with him online.  He talked her into getting into his car, drove her to his house up in the foothills (she thought he was taking her to dinner at a restaurant), and came out of the bathroom without his pants on.  Men who are that audacious scare me.  Women who are that stupid scare me more. 

The Flip Side: Installment I--What are Five Things Guys Need to Improve on When Taking a Girl on a Date?

by Julie Robinson

  I applied for a job recently where I was asked a bunch of questions about relationships, dating, and sex.  Presumably, this was to determine a couple of things--Can she write?  Does she have any idea what she is talking about?  Would she be a good fit for our magazine? What on earth does she do with all of her spare time? 

This is the first of eight installments where the tables are turned AND I have to fess up AND tell the truth for a change AND be the quasi-expert about dating and What? Not!--as if I know what I'm talking about . . . .  I thought you all might be interested in seeing the flip side--my responses to the nosy shit I keep asking you to divulge.

  Seeing that I pretty much date for a living, the question about what guys need to work on in the dating department really puts me up on my soapbox.  I definitely have more than five pet peeves when it comes to what really irks me about the men I date, but here is the short list:

The Girlfriend Connection: Meet the Women of What? Not!

by Julie Robinson

  One of the most satisfying aspects of writing a dating blog is basically you get to tell stories the way you like—there are no editors taking out your foul language, no word limits, and no one hovering over your shoulder saying: “Are you sure you want to divulge that ugly little fact about yourself?  Don’t you think you look bad enough?”  I also kinda dig that it gets to be all about ME.

The thing about midlife dating, though, is that women definitely do it together.  We gab on the phone picking apart every little nuance about the date / penis / bald spot / performance anxiety / cute-little-but-not-too-little-outfit the night before.  We’re a team. 

Word of the Week: We

by Julie Robinson

  Maybe if he was a little taller I wouldn’t have said anything.  Seeing that I’m being overly critical here, I also don’t really like the way age has etched creases along his upper cheekbones when he smiles.  And he’s smiling a lot.  Brian is clearly enjoying our first date pasta dinner more than I. 

It isn’t that Brian is a bad guy / horrible date / evil person.  The reason he’s so incredibly excited is because he can’t believe his lucky stars that he’s out with me.  Now, before you go rummaging around for a “conceited bitch” card in your purse to go throwing in my general direction—let me explain:

Bitches in Heat: Watching Monday Night TV Post-football Season

by Julie Robinson

  “Damn!” Leo’s walking back from the kitchen with a Coke in his hand, “That blonde is hot!” I, of course, agree with his assessment wholeheartedly.  They are all hot.  They are all way too hot.  “Who’s the lucky dude?”

I haven’t been following The Bachelor this season, but I figure out pretty quickly that Ben is the “lucky dude.”  And even though he probably has the worst hair on TV (ever), there are over a dozen stunningly attractive women who have fallen for him on network television right before our very eyes.

It’s all very predictable:  There’s the I-don’t-even-remember-her-name sweetheart.  The girl who gets sent home for “cheating.”  The backstabbing.  The tears.  And, you know it’s coming—the slutty bitch.

In this particular episode Courtney flings herself at Ben by not wearing a bikini top underneath her native beads, invites him up to her room (he ignores this request), has a scene all to herself where she’s crying with a voiceover explaining that she just wants to be respected by men, and multiple times where she is incredibly unpleasant to all of the other women.  According to the credits beneath her name she is a model in Santa Monica, California. 

All Wrapped Up: When Love Feels Like a Warm Blanket

by Julie Robinson

  The winter wonderland outside my house is spectacular.  There is over one foot of snow on the ground, the trees are coated with a light coat of dust, and slight smell of smoke coming from neighbors’ chimneys only adds to the tranquility. 

Bennett and I are snuggled together by our own roaring fire and I’m at peace with the fact that I can’t really leave the house for any reason.  Being productive is certainly an option—but not really doing anything at all seems more like how I’m feeling in the moment.

Cyber Cops from Hell: Whistle Blowing Across the Internet Dating World

by Julie Robinson

  Dare I say it?  I’ve been having some trouble with the police recently.  No, I’m not getting pulled over for public nudity / speeding while intoxicated / cooking meth in a two-liter jug in the backseat of my Nissan crossover.  No.  The cops I’m talking about are those fucking annoying self-appointed Craigslist cyber cops who willy-nilly delete the, albeit, quasi-legitimate advertisements I post on Craigslist on a regular basis trying to promote my totally legit business. Whew!

What’s worse, I’ve turned into a bit of a cyber pig myself. I can’t help it.  Being on Plenty of Fish for the last three years has turned me into a crazed lunatic when it comes to online dating.  So, now instead of following a set of perfectly reasonable rules of etiquette that millions of other online daters follow on a regular basis—I’m now sticking a badge over my heart and self-deputizing myself into the Cyber Cop from Hell: