The Flip Side--Installment V: What is the Appeal of “Bad Boys” for Some Women?

by Julie Robinson

  Bad boys are the topic for the fifth installment to The Flip Side--a series of short interview questions and answers about dating, relationships, and sex.  What do you love about the guy who encourages you to be BAD?

 I am sure that it will come as no surprise to you that the double standard is alive and well in the dating world.  Women are still expected to police both sexes’ behavior when on a date.  It is our responsibility to keep everyone in check. 

Then a bad boy ambles in.

His swagger, his demeanor, his smell takes over the room.  He doesn’t want anything to do with Little Miss Goodie Two Shoes over there in the corner.  No.  He wants to break all of the rules and he wants to break them with you.  That’s the appeal:  Bad boys encourage women to be bad, too.



Let’s face it, being the good hall monitor day in and day out gets a little boring.  True, it is important to get men to respect you.  And, yes, playing hard to get allows men to chase you (and they love that!).  But sometimes mixing it up with a strong, sultry bad boy is the way to go.

I recently dated two men who offered me two very distinctive scenarios:  One was a sensible choice because he was stable and resourceful. The other rocked my world.  I’ve read Jane Austen—I know which one I am supposed to choose—but Mr. Bad Boy won out in the end.  Our whirlwind romance was short lived yet incredibly memorable.  I made the right choice.


“Bad boys versus nice guys” is a dichotomy that, unfortunately, is overplayed in the dating world.  What I think women should focus on is: who allows us to reach our potential?  What man out there wants to bask in our fabulousness with us?

I have a friend who joined another couple with her then husband for a boating trip.  The sun was shining, the wind sprayed water all over the place, and the other woman in the group lapped it all up.  She squealed and carried on to such a degree that my friend rolled her eyes a bit and was caught by the woman’s husband.  He just laughed and said, “That’s my girl!” That’s what I want.

When you are the kind of woman who lives life boldly it’s very important to find the kind of guy who accepts you for who you are instead of worrying about constantly readjusting your behavior to match everybody else.  Bad boys tend to get this because they too live outside the norms of society.  They have their flaws, of course, but I’ll take a bad boy any day over a man who wants to clip my wings.