by Julie Robinson
He saw me before I saw him, so he may have even been watching me for a while sitting at the bar thinking about getting up the nerve to come over and talk to me. When he did make the call, got me to answer, and ambled on over, the first thing I noticed was the pancake make-up and blush. A split second after that I noted very bad, old hair plugs. On the other hand, it could have been a poorly constructed wig.
“So, you must be Julie,” Toby greeted me with a smile. We had talked on the phone briefly before our first encounter, and the only thing I remembered about him was that he was a pilot and had never been to a Taco Bell. He remarked that since I didn’t have a TV, and because he had never been to Taco Bell, we would be perfect together. What about our interest in Estee Lauder cosmetics, Toby? C'mon--that little bit of information didn't cross your mind? Not even for a second?
He saw me before I saw him, so he may have even been watching me for a while sitting at the bar thinking about getting up the nerve to come over and talk to me. When he did make the call, got me to answer, and ambled on over, the first thing I noticed was the pancake make-up and blush. A split second after that I noted very bad, old hair plugs. On the other hand, it could have been a poorly constructed wig.
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". . . the first thing I noticed was the
pancake make-up and blush."
pancake make-up and blush."
____________________________________________
“So, you must be Julie,” Toby greeted me with a smile. We had talked on the phone briefly before our first encounter, and the only thing I remembered about him was that he was a pilot and had never been to a Taco Bell. He remarked that since I didn’t have a TV, and because he had never been to Taco Bell, we would be perfect together. What about our interest in Estee Lauder cosmetics, Toby? C'mon--that little bit of information didn't cross your mind? Not even for a second?
“Hello.” I didn’t get up or make room for him on my side of the booth. At the time I didn’t think about this being rude, but seeing that he left almost immediately and didn’t come back, it must have felt that way to him.
We exchanged a few pleasantries, talked about my friends who would be joining us later for Trivia Night, and then he said, “Hey, look. I parked across the street at the 7-11. I gotta go move my car,” Toby motioned that he needed to leave. It sounded reasonable to me. And then he was gone. Poof. Only, I didn’t realize it. I need some help--a lifeline of sorts.
7:03pm PHONE CALL#1: Hey! My date is moving his car. When you get here, sit down beside me, okay? . . . No, you don't need to act like we're together--just don't let him near me . . . I don't want to spoil it for you . . . . You will see when you get here--you're gonna die!
7:08pm PHONE CALL#2: He's taking a really long time to move his fucking car. . . . Parking around here is a pain in the ass. . . . Should I call him? . . . . When are you going to get here? . . . Ok. . . .See you soon.
7:03pm PHONE CALL#1: Hey! My date is moving his car. When you get here, sit down beside me, okay? . . . No, you don't need to act like we're together--just don't let him near me . . . I don't want to spoil it for you . . . . You will see when you get here--you're gonna die!
7:08pm PHONE CALL#2: He's taking a really long time to move his fucking car. . . . Parking around here is a pain in the ass. . . . Should I call him? . . . . When are you going to get here? . . . Ok. . . .See you soon.
7:14pm PHONE CALL #3: I think that asshole left me! . . . . Who the hell does he think he is? . . . No, he hasn't come back yet. . . . What the fuck? He left me! He's the freak! Hurry up and get here. . . . Ok. . . .. Bye!
7:20pm PHONE CALL#4: I can't believe I just got ditched by some asshole who wears make-up. . . . I know--but it's still humiliating . . . .Thank God you guys are coming. . . . Have you found a parking spot yet?
My anger quickly subsides, though. Did I really want to go through another dead end date just so I didn't have to pick up my own dinner tab? Was it worth it with this guy? Was it ever worth it?
At first I was pretty glib about the whole situation thinking to myself that I was so good looking and enticing that he knew I was completely out of his league—and why bother? It’s not that he took one look at me and decided I wasn’t worth his time because I was hideous looking or anything like that. I’m sure he saw a smartly dressed, attractive, confident woman sitting there waiting for him. As my smugness wore off, I began to realize that my thinly masked smile as my greeting was something he has probably seen before. He took me as an mean soul who wasn’t going to treat him well or help him have a good time.
I’m not really sure why Toby thought it was a good idea to come to our date with a full face of make-up. Maybe he is a cross dresser and he wants to put it out there immediately to see how folks react. I’m pretty sure I know why he left, though. He read my body language and face during his approach and found an unkind woman who was too consumed with her own insecurities to be open to him as a person. Instead of wondering who the fuck this guy is--I probably need to root out my own bullshit. Maybe I’m reading into this too much, but I don’t want to be the kind of woman who gets left in restaurants because I’m so bizarre looking men feel the need to run away screaming AND I don’t want to be the kind of woman who gets left in restaurants because I’m a judgmental bitch.
Actually, at this point, I think I'll stay in and cook.
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